Updated: Apr 24, 2021
Are you feeling depleted, a bit lost, not as joyful as you have been or want to be? You may sense that something is missing or that you are disconnected from your true purpose.
We believe that everyone has a purpose, a calling, a WHY. You might not consciously know it yet, but it’s there within us, waiting for us to connect to it. At the risk of sounding cheesy or cliche, you can only ‘hear’ your purpose once you tune in to your true self.
Here are 5 steps to help you (re)connect with yourself and your purpose.
Step 1. Know that you have a WHY
Everyone has a WHY. If you know yours, have articulated it and are living it every day then congratulations. Keep up the good vibes. If you have no idea what we’re talking about, keep calm and try this.
The other day one of our team attended Simon Sinek’s virtual live show where he shared this fun and insightful exercise. It’s called the ‘friend’s test’.
Ask a friend, who you love and they love you, (not partner or sibling) “why are we friends?”
At first, they will describe the traits of a generic friend like “we’ve known each other for so long”, “you’re nice”, “we have fun together”. Now, challenge them to be really specific in their answers by asking them “what is it about me that you like?”. Eventually they will give up and describe the impact you have on them such as “I love hanging out with you because you make me feel brave enough to have an adventure”, which is the type of detail you want. To put it simply, when you get an emotional response from them you are getting closer to your WHY.
Now you have an idea of the things that you and others love about you, the next step is to look at how much time you spend doing these things. This is the focus for tomorrow.
If you are curious as to what your WHY is, check out our website to see how we can help.
Step 2. Diagnose your bucket
Now you are starting to have an idea of your WHY, let’s look at the activities you spend most of your time doing, i.e. work, school, family, study, hobbies and note how they make you feel.
If you really want to know why you feel the way you do at the moment, this exercise will be an eye-opener for sure! Going through this analysis might sound uncomfortable but the information you’ll get out of it will be worthwhile, just give it a try.
Draw a circle and divide it into 8 slices. The circle represents your bucket and every slice represents an activity, write them around the edge. Plot the level of satisfaction you get out of each activity on a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is the center of the circle and 10 is the circumference. Now connect the dots and you will have a visual representation of how full (or empty) your bucket is. The activities closer to the center need to be thought about. Ask yourself, ‘’should I stop doing them, think about doing them in a different way or replace them with something else?’’.
Next, let's think about how to stay positive with the outcome and look for help.
Step 3. Ask for help
If the dots on your circle are all close to the circumference, well done you have mastered the skill of keeping your bucket full every day. If the dots on your circle are mostly towards the center, don’t be discouraged, all you need is a strong desire to be happier and the courage to ask for help.
You don’t have to do this alone. There are lots of people around you who would love to help you if they knew you needed it.
Perhaps begin with the friend that you started this journey with. Tell them what you have done and where you think you need to focus to be more fulfilled. Don’t ask for their opinion but for their help to work out what you need to do, like a coach would. If you prefer a totally independent view of the situation, look to get a coach.
Now you are starting to form a plan you may need to change some habits.
Step 4: Forming new fulfilling habits
Make some promises to yourself and trust yourself to keep them. Build these into your daily rhythm to form good habits. Psychologists and neurologists tell us it is impossible to stop a habit as it is hard wired into our brains. But what we can do is replace it with a new one.
For example, if when you get home from work you find yourself habitually gravitating towards the sofa and nodding off and this is not what you want to do, make a change. As you find yourself getting near the sofa replace the action with your new habit, which may be getting straight into some exercise gear and going out for a run. Do this with all the slices of your circle that you want to change. Focus on what fulfills you, focus on the activities and goals you set with your friend or coach and get nearer to the circumference of the circle.
Forming new habits can be hard at first, requiring practice and commitment. Just remember to be gentle with yourself.
Now all you need to do is focus on remaining uplifted and put in place ways to maintain your happy place and live your purpose.
Step 5: Surround yourself with uplifting people
You are the sum of the 5 people you spend most time with. Who are they for you and how do your values complement each other?
Ask yourself this tough question only if you are prepared to give an honest answer. Surround yourself with those who uplift you, help you to be happy and fulfill your purpose.
This is why it is so important to connect to the right people so you can build trusted relationships over time and live with confidence that they get you, they are there for you and you for them.
If this article sparked your motivation to experience this for yourself, get in touch with us today: BOOK A CALL